by Laurel Patterson
I usually don’t spy on my cat, but I couldn’t resist a peek in his diary when he left it out. I only looked at Dec. 31. That was enough for me to know that I have the best cat in the world. Let me share with you what he wrote.
So often at this time of year, I hear how humans make resolutions and after a few months, don’t even remember what the resolutions were.
I’m going to do this resolution stuff this year. I know it will impact the ‘life and relationship of me and my human for the better. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’m determined to make these 12 changes.
1. I will not jump up on my human’s chest while she is sleeping and stare into her eyes until she acknowledges me with ear scratches.
2. I will be less curious and discontinue my habit of exploring places like the furnace room. There will be no repeats of the time I got stuck on top of the furnace with my long fur sticking straight out from static electricity.
3. I will no longer bolt down my food only to barf it up 10 minutes later.
4. I will not go behind the washing machine, go into the back panel and get covered in grease again, no matter how interesting things are in there.
5. I will continue to bring my mouse and chipmunk gifts to my human, but I will always make sure they are at least two human steps away from the door.
6. I will dig in my kitty litter box with only enough vigor to do the job. No more mini mountains of litter on the door.
7. I will not impulsively play running-beserker while my human is watching a scary movie.
8. I will not lovingly rub my human’s legs while she is walking and carrying boxes.
9. I will not touch my human’s face while she is sleeping. She doesn’t have enough fur to deal with my love tweaks.
10. I will not cough up a hairball in my human’s purse even if that happens to be where I’m at when the urge hits.
11. I will no longer try to eat the goldfish no matter how much they tease me.
12. I will no longer keep these resolutions, if there is any indication that my human misses any of these activities.
I can tell you, I’m not going to miss any of these pre-resolution activities. I just hope he does better at keeping his resolutions than I do at keeping mine!
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As a retiree, Laurel Patterson spends time writing and speaking, especially on topics related to ecopsychology and well-being. Laurel is an alumna of Slippery Rock University, with a Bachelor’s degree in Professional Studies focusing on communication and the environment. She is a lifetime member of The Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi. Her hobbies include caring for and propagating houseplants and collecting postcards.
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